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Biz Levity - We Give Business the Business

Archive for July 2008

July 31st, 2008

Flint, Michigan Looking For Sponsors For Police Surveillance Cameras

Move Sparks Bidding War Between Producers of America’s Funniest Home Videos and Girls Gone Wild
Pleased with the success of the one camera they already have, the city of Flint, Michigan is looking to add 24 more cameras at a cost of $420,000.
In addition to looking for someone who can do math and not pay over […]

By markjabo -- 1 comment

July 28th, 2008

Bizlevity ‘Pay It Forward’ Plug

All The Cool Kids Are In on This….
Quick.  How many people do you know who have a TV pilot being considered for a development deal?
We’re not talking about your senile uncle who always corners you at parties and tells you how his life would make a great sitcom and then asks you to videotape him […]

By markjabo -- 1 comment

July 27th, 2008

McCain Calls Wall Street ‘Villain’ In Sub-Prime Meltdown

‘Dastardly’ Brokers ‘Bamboozled’ Townfolk
Republican nominee and financial dolt John McCain appeared on Meet the Press today on the advice of his campaign handlers who explained to him he’d reach a broader audience than by wearing a morning coat and top hat while speaking from the back of a railroad car.
McCain lost no time in sounding […]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

July 25th, 2008

Bizlevity’s Least Surprising Headline of the Week: July 25, 2008

From MSNBC: ‘Big Hole’ In Jet Prompts Landing
File this story under “N” for “No sh*t, Sherlock.”
To the surprise of absolutely no one, a hole the size of a small car forced the crew of a Qantas jumbo jet to make an emergency landing at the Manila Airport in the Philippines.
The real surprise is why anyone […]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

July 24th, 2008

Obama Speaks To ‘Enormous’ Crowd At Stop In Berlin

Man Closes Door on McCain In Ohio; Says He Thought GOP Candidate ‘Was A Jehovah’s Witness Or Something’
As Barack Obama continued to tour Europe on his summer vacation which was definitely, repeat definitely, not a political campaign tour, he was met by the same huge crowds that have been appearing since he became a Presidential […]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

July 24th, 2008

NRA Wants To Overturn Ban On Concealed Weapons In National Parks

Proposal Spawns New Bumper Sticker: ‘If Guns Are Outlawed, Only Chipmunks Will Have Guns’
The always reasonable National Rifle Association wants to over turn a long-standing prohibition against carrying concealed weapons in a national park.
Responding to an outbreak of violence which saw a 300% increase in mugging incidents in national parks over the past five years […]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

July 24th, 2008

Accused Of Affair, John Edwards Demands Apology

Claims Hair Stylist Promised $400 Haircut Would Help Him Score Models, Actresses
Former Democratic Presidential hopeful John Edwards was furious today as the highly reputable National Enquirer caught him sneaking around the hotel where a woman formerly rumored to be his mistress was staying.
Edwards issued a strongly-worded “Aww, sh*t!” as he attempted to avoid paparazzi and […]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

July 21st, 2008

Conjoined Birds Discovered In Rural Arkansas Barn

Damn. Is Everybody In That State Screwing Their Sister?
A set of conjoined twin birds was discovered this week in a barn in Arkansas. The pair of barn swallows, attached at the hip, was sent to the Smithsonian Institute in Washington for further study as officials questioned everyone on the farm.
The birds were found by […]

By markjabo -- 2 comments

July 21st, 2008

Appeals Court Tosses FCC ‘Wardrobe Malfunction’ Fine

Nobody’s been this fixated on a Jackson nipple since Bubbles the Chimp
A federal appeals court threw out a $550,000 indecency fine against CBS for the 2004 Super Bowl halftime show that ended with Janet Jackson’s breast-baring “wardrobe malfunction,” saying the Federal Communications Commission, “acted arbitrarily and capriciously,” in other words, “like the government.”
The court found […]

By sscatz -- 0 comments

July 20th, 2008

Man Finds Knife In Subway Sandwich, Sues

Says 7-Inch Chef’s Knife Should Have Also Come With Paring Knife and 4-Inch Utility Knife
Joel Agnesini found quite the surprise when he chowed down on his Subway Cold Cut Trio sandwich last week. After a couple of bites, he noticed the blade of a seven inch knife protruding from his sandwich.
The New York man […]

By markjabo -- 1 comment