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Archive for August 2008

August 30th, 2008

John Edwards To End Political Seclusion

Will Look To Become President of Iowa Central Community College
John Edwards will end his self-imposed political seclusion to give a speech at Hofstra University. The occasion was originally scheduled to be a joint appearance with Edwards’ wife Elizabeth but she has since canceled saying, “If his joint makes an appearance, I’ll give him a [...]

By markjabo -- 1 comment

August 29th, 2008

McCain Taps Palin To Be Vice Presidential Pick

Choice of Former Monty Python Star Expected to Energize Republican Ticket
Cementing his credentials as a maverick, John McCain today announced he would be selecting Michael Palin as his running mate. Palin, a former regular in the long-running Monty Python series, is expected to lend a needed sense of humor to the McCain campaign.
While short [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 28th, 2008

Scrolling Political Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do — August 28, 2008

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Obama To Accept Democratic Nomination Tonight At Invesco Field On Greek Temple-Themed Stage
Campaign Looks To Tap Into Irreverence of ‘Animal House’ Days With Giant Toga Party

“…And most recently of all, a ‘Democratic National Convention’ was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 27th, 2008

Hillary Addresses Democratic Convention

Dresses Like Halloween Pumpkin, Warns Dems She’ll Be Back To Haunt Party Year After Year With Same Tired Shtick
Hillary Clinton gave the speech of her life (at least until the next speech of her life) last night, holding Democratic conventioneers in awe as they watched her repeatedly take credit for single-handedly creating cracks in the [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 27th, 2008

Scrolling Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do - August 27, 2008

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‘100 Things To Do Before You Die’ Author Dies
Found Slumped Over Massive To-Do List
#101: Don’t fall and hit your head
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Hillary To Attend, Bill Clinton To Skip Obama Nomination Speech
Ex-Pres Looks To Accomplish Near-Impossible Feat of Making Al Gore Look Gracious
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Hillary To Attend, Bill Clinton To Skip Obama Nomination Speech
Raise Your Hand If The Thought [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 26th, 2008

Internet Readers Demand More Rollover Word Ads

Zogby Poll Confirms Trend
A meeting with people in debt at a local restaurant highlighted the business side of blogging.
Credit bureaus and startup companies are willing to pay for ads that pop-up when you rollover a word.
Whether you are a Senator, First Lady or Barack Obama, these ads offer insurance that you will pay a premium [...]

By markjabo -- 1 comment

August 26th, 2008

Hillary Clinton To Speak Tonight At Democratic Convention

NY Senator Will Aim To Solidify Reputation As Self-Centered, Bitter While Appearing Outwardly Gracious
With Hillary Clinton scheduled to speak tonight in Denver, most convention-goers are looking forward to hearing what the former First Lady has to say.
Unfortunately, those convention-goers are Republicans who will gather next week in whatever city Republicans are set to gather this [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 25th, 2008

Scrolling Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do - August 25, 2008

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MSNBC Featured Article: When To Tell The Boss You’re Pregnant
Tip #1: When It’s His Kid
Tip#2: Right After Executive Bonuses
Business deduction
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July Retail Sales Data Indicate Effects Of Stimulus Checks Fading
Consumers Going Through Last of Ramen Noodles Purchased With June Checks
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Minnesota Accountant Wins Rare Victory Against IRS In Tax Dispute
Gets $800 Refund and Guarantee [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 23rd, 2008

McCain Insists He’s Ready To Lead

Cindy McCain Still Unsure, Thinks Husband May Need More Dance Lessons
The McCain campaign has repeatedly criticized Barack Obama as “not ready to lead.” In a bombshell interview with Highlights Magazine, Cindy McCain has revealed that she has doubts about her own husband’s ability to lead.
“John’s worked hard at his dancing but, on really complicated [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments

August 23rd, 2008

Obama Announces Biden As Vice-President

Delaware Senator Reads Martin Luther King’s ‘I Have a Dream’ Speech In Accepting Nomination; Insists He Was Just Using Speech To Generate His Own Ideas
Senator Joseph Biden today accepted the nomination to become Barack Obama’s vice president in a powerful and moving speech designed to unite the country. In what may be a harbinger [...]

By markjabo -- 0 comments