Banks May Lose $325 Billion According To J.P. Morgan Report
Most Bank CEOs Will Get Pay Raise
J.P. Morgan released a report today that suggested banks stand to lose up to $325 billion as a result of the ongoing mortgage crisis.
Analysts for the brokerage house said the banking system faces a “systemic margin call” which is Wall Street jargon for “a real sh**storm.”
Attempting to give our readers some perspective on the number, members of the Bizlevity research staff (Google and me) have put together the following examples of just what $325 billion would buy:
- 1,140 Boeing 747s — Two planes each for every player, head coach, first assistant coach and two cheerleaders per team in the NBA
- 974,951 Rolls-Royce Phantoms — Roughly one each for every man, woman and child in Detroit
- 651,302,605 iPhones (the top-of-the-line 16GB ones) — An iPhone for every person in the United States, Russia, Japan, the United Kingdom and Australia
- Norway (according to most recent GDP figures)
- $1,100 for each of the 36.7 million people who visited Las Vegas last year. Each one of these people could lose the entire amount every year for 8 years. And there’d still be $2 billion left over to spend on hookers
When told of the report, Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke sat down in a corner, curled up in a ball and started sucking his thumb.
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One of them wouldn’t get their own plane
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