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Burger King Looks To Increase Share Of Pedophile Market

by markjabo on March 25th, 2008

New Commercial Urges Fast Food Customers Not To Be Ashamed of ‘Morning Tongue’ And ‘Satisfy Yourself With a Cheesy Tot’

Burger King’s policy of hiring convicted sex offenders to work in its marketing department continues to yield big advertising dividends for the company.

From the company who coined the phrase “It takes two hands to handle a Whopper,” comes the latest attempt to merge two of the fastest growing consumer markets: fast food and porn.

In what ad executives are saying is part of a trend toward niche marketing, Burger King unveiled its new “morning tongue” commercials.

And, if you thought their commercials couldn’t get any creepier than the dude with the big Burger King mask looking in a bedroom window, guess again.

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Lucky they don’t sell hot dogs….
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The commercial urges you not to be embarrassed about “morning tongue” and “satisfy yourself with a cheesy tot.”

Even if the kid is a little cheesy, that certainly doesn’t mean he deserves to be molested. The courts have made this very clear on a number of occasions.

Burger King is the official fast food of NAMBLA and the novels of Vladimir Nabokov.

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Satisfy yourself, you creepy bastard…

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