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Bush Signs Genetic Discrimination Law

by markjabo on May 22nd, 2008

Insurance Companies Can’t Base Charges On Likelihood of Debilitating Illness, Move Expected to Ease Passage of Bill Ending Bank Discrimination Against People With Guns

Showing his usual grasp of nuance and subtlety, George Bush signed into law today a bill that prohibits insurance companies from setting rates based on genetic testing.

The bill means insurance companies can no longer set rates based on the increased likelihood that someone may incur catastrophic health costs. That’s good news for the great majority of healthy people who will now be forced to pay the same expensive insurance premiums as Keith Richards and Axl Rose.

The move is expected to result in an uptick in the unemployment rate over the coming months as thousands of actuaries are laid off because, as one insurance executive put it, “What’s the f**king point?”

The bill is expected to clear the way for other “non-discrimination” legislation including a bill that prohibits banks from discriminating against people with guns and supermarkets from refusing to sell food to people who don’t have any money.

In a related story, the Allstate Insurance Company announced it will be changing its name to the Allstate Deli because “that has about as much relation to what we’re allowed to do now as ‘insurance.’”

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Why not snort coke and binge drink? You’ll pay the same insurance premiums…

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