Giant Turtle Thought To Be Extinct Discovered In Northern Vietnam
Turtle Insists It Was Waiting For Chuck Norris to Come to the Rescue
Shell-shocked researchers announced today they had discovered a rare soft-shell turtle that had previously been thought to be extinct. The turtle was discovered in northern Vietnam and was believed to have been planted by the C.I.A. in early 1975, only a few months before the fall of Saigon.
The turtle showed no visible signs of torture but researchers said it was too early to say what type of impact living on the run crawl has had on the turtle’s mental condition.
Researchers found the turtle, unshaven and wearing a headband, in its traditional habitat near the banks of Vietnamese lake.
The main question researchers are being asked is, “How could anyone be mistaken about a giant turtle being extinct?”
It’s giant and it’s a turtle. It’s big and incredibly slow-moving. Theoretically, this should make it easier to count when you’re taking an inventory of species in a particular area.
Scientists noted that the discovery “carries great scientific and cultural significance” because of the rarity of the turtle, it’s status in local folklore and because it makes “a kick-ass soup.”
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Not extinct…just wanted to make the moment last.
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