Happy Mother’s Day: Arkansas Mom Pregnant With 18th Child
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The Bizlevity nomination for Mother of the Year Decade Half-Century is … Michelle Duggar.
Michelle went on the Today Show this morning to announce that, just in time for Mother’s Day, she is pregnant with her 18th child.
For Mother’s Day, her kids are going to stage a hostile takeover of FTD.
Michelle and her husband Jim are members of an evangelical Christian sect called Quiverful which, coincidentally, also happens to be a pretty fitting description of Michelle’s uterus.
Apparently, this Christian sect encourages children in much the same way as an election to Congress encourages spending.
Michelle has been pregnant (11+ years) longer than most people are married. Over one-quarter of her life has been spent pregnant.
She shouldn’t be on the Today Show, she should be getting an honorary doctorate in Obstetrics & Gynecology from Harvard Medical School.
She’s had more people pass through her than Myanmar customs.
If Michelle was any more fertile, her parents would be named Tigris and Euphrates.
On top of everything else, Michelle and her husband have given all their kids names that start with the letter “J” — Joshua, twins Jana and John-David, Jill, Jessa, Jinger, Joseph, Josiah, Joy-Anna, twins Jedidiah and Jeremiah, Jason, James, Justin, Jackson, Johannah and baby Jennifer.
This kind of nonsense is aggravating enough when you have three kids, but eighteen?!
The only way this makes sense is if the kids’ names all start with J in an attempt to remind Mr. Duggar to give all the screwing a rest and just jerk off once in awhile.
The Duggars told Today Show host Meredith Vieira they go through three loaves of bread a day. At that rate, the Duggars are responsible for raising food prices more than the push toward ethanol.
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Like an old Springsteen lyric: “I think he really Duggar, ’cause she was too loose to fake…”
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