Housing Crisis Hits Surrogate Mothers
Women Who Rent Out Wombs Face Difficulty Obtaining Low-Interest Financing
Add surrogate mothers to the list of groups needing to be bailed out due to the latest housing and banking crisis. Surrogate mothers are finding it increasingly difficult to obtain financing for housing someone else’s baby for nine months.
“The market has just dried up,” noted one male banker, “We’re taking a much harder look at the costs associated with bringing a baby to term and we’re unwilling to lend to even wealthy clients like Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie.”
Market analysts blame the growth in Wall Street financial engineering for the current problems. Many of the babies being born have already been re-packaged into pools of babies that are more attractive to mutual funds who invest in these high-tech instruments.
Problems arose when it was discovered that, unlike a bond which can be separated into principal payments and a stream of interest income, babies were more difficult to split into component parts.
Funds which now hold babies are said to be in better shape than those firms who purchased more risky placentas and umbilical cords.
In an effort to avert a widespread panic, the Fed is working closely with JP Morgan to takeover all the nation’s hospitals for $2.00 per patient.
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Federal Reserve will lend him a baby sister at below-market rates
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