Scrolling Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do — April 5, 2008
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Mysterious Disease Killing Young Male Apes
Right Wing Gorillas Say It’s Kong’s Punishment for Having Sex With Humans
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Absolut Vodka Apologizes For Ad Depicting Southwestern U.S. As Part Of Mexico
Company Aims to Stir Up Controversy Closer to Home With Ads Showing Poland as Part of Nazi Germany
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Employers Cut 80,000 Jobs In March
Shortage of Pink Copy Paper, Only 31 Days in Month Prevent Number from Topping 100,000
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Loan Delinquencies At Highest Level In Over 15 Years
Fed Urges Implementation of Curfew, Maintains Making No Loans Made After 8:00PM Unless Accompanied By Parent Will Cut Opportunities for Borrowers to Get Into Trouble
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Greenspan Endorses McCain For President
Former Fed Chairman Feels Country is Ready for Clapper, Craftmatic Adjustable Bed in White House
Lincoln Bedroom donors love the massage option
Lovesick Prison Guard Who Aided Inmate Escape Says She Feels Used
Also Requests Those Involved With MLM Schemes, Brooklyn Bridge Offers Stop E-Mailing Her
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Apple Sues NYC Over Use Of Apple In City’s ‘GreeNYC’ Environmental Initiative
Also Named As Co-Defendant: Granny Smith
iPod maker seeks tart relief from courts
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