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Scrolling Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do — June 1, 2008

by markjabo on June 1st, 2008

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Trump Marina Casino In Atlantic City To Become ‘Margaritaville’
Donald Trump Apologizes for Earlier Statement Claiming ‘There’s No Way We Could Make This Any Tackier Than it Already Is’

2-donald-trump_nc.jpg Buffeted by changes in Atlantic City

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La Scala To Stage Gore’s ‘Inconvenient Truth’
Two Most Boring Things In Universe Will Be Combined In Effort to Reduce Carbon Footprint of Patrons By Inducing Deep Three-Hour Sleep

2-gore-opera_nc.jpg La Bore-heme to feature a lots of hot aria

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Universal Studios Loses 40,000 Films in Major Fire
Chinese Officials Call Blaze ‘Karma’ for Sharon Stone Comments

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Democrats Agree To Partial Counting Of Delegates In Florida And Michigan
Promise That, If Elected, Drivers Caught Speeding Will Only Have to Pay Half of Stated Fines; Disputed NBA Games Will Be Resolved By Ruling 3-Point Shots Only Count as 1.5 Points

2-wilt_nc.jpg Democrats declare Wilt’s best game was only 50 points

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Americans Urged To Stop Complaining About Gas Prices As Critics Cite $11/Gallon Price In Turkey, Bulgaria
Yeah … Because We Want to Be Exactly Like Turkey and Bulgaria

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