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Scrolling Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do — May 18, 2008

by markjabo on May 18th, 2008

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Huckabee Discusses Role As Potential Republican Running Mate
McCain Camp Looks to Divert Focus On Candidate’s Age With Bat-Shit Crazy Veep Choice

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Ted Kennedy In Hospital With Seizure
Dems Express Concern, Say Seizure is Related to Global Warming

Surprised that health care system is actually working

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Bush Tells Middle Eastern Countries They Should Pursue Democracy
Middle Eastern Countries Show Surprising Grasp of English Slang With Two-Word Response

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IRS Say Up To 350,000 Rebate Checks Wrong
Agency Blames Complicated Tax Code that ‘Even We Don’t Understand’

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U.S. Soldier Uses Quran For Target Practice
U.S. Officials Issue Apology for Soldier’s Behavior, Also Regret World Trade Center ‘Getting in the Way of Amateur Arab Pilots’

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FAO Schwarz To Sell Toys At Macy’s
Move Makes Ridiculously Over-Priced Toys More Accessible to Middle America Just In Time for Recession

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UAW, American Axle Reach Tentative Agreement
Management and Union Agree to Work Together To Promote Inefficiency, Continue to Make Sub-Standard Cars

  Two other guys asleep in the backseat

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