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Scrolling Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do — May 28, 2008

by markjabo on May 28th, 2008

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America Runs On Manufactured Hysteria
Rachel Ray Accused of Promoting Terrorism By Wearing Scarf; Hermes Headquarters Shut Down In Search For Weapons of Mass Fashion

2-rachelray-nc.jpg “I can barely cook, let alone make an IED…”

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MSNBC Article Details The Top 10 Cars Teens Want
Savvy Teens Said to Favor Cars With High Gas Mileage, Good Safety Ratings and Ones They Don’t Have to Pay For

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Fed Governor Mishkin To Resign From Federal Reserve Board
Wants to Spend More Time With Family, Get Out ‘Before Housing Market Sh*t Really Hits the Fan’

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Microsoft Unveils Touch-Screen Windows
Company Reveals It Already Owns 85% of Companies that Make Windex, Bounty Paper Towels

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Mattel Attempts To Gain Control Of Bratz Dolls
Cloe, Yasmin and Sasha Accuse Company of ‘Stalking’ Them, Say Just Because They Dress Sexy Doesn’t Give Toy Company Right to Call and Harass Them Late At Night

2-bratz_nc.jpg Want to start seeing other toy companies…

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Sales Of Eponymous Canned Meat Spam Up 10% Versus Previous Year
Fed Governor Bernanke Calls Sales Figures ‘Evidence That Recession is Waaay Worse than We Thought’

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Photos

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