Scrolling Political Headlines Don’t Scroll Unless You Do — August 28, 2008
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Obama To Accept Democratic Nomination Tonight At Invesco Field On Greek Temple-Themed Stage
Campaign Looks To Tap Into Irreverence of ‘Animal House’ Days With Giant Toga Party
“…And most recently of all, a ‘Democratic National Convention’ was held from which we have received more than two dozen reports of individual acts of perversion so profound and disgusting that decorum prohibits listing them here…”
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McCain Chides Obama For ‘Greek Temple’ Stage Backdrop
Arizona Senator Says Facade Looks Nothing Like The Original Ancient Greek Temples He Remembers From His Childhood
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Ex-Prez Clinton Vows To Do ‘Everything He Can’ To Elect Obama
Former President to Have Mouth Duct-Taped Shut Until After Thanksgiving
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McCain Announces He Has Decided On Running Mate
Vows To Announce Decision As Soon As He Can Remember Who He Picked
“I’ll have my staff get back to you on that…”
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Connecticut Senator Lieberman Said To Be Favored By McCain For V.P.
Republican Nominee Ironically Considers Using Draft Dodger Strategy In His Campaign As He Looks To Shoot Himself In Foot
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State Officials Mull Evacuating New Orleans as Hurricane Gustav Nears
Will Also Petition National Weather Center To Stop Using Germanic Names Like ‘Gustav’ and ‘Katrina’ Since ‘Every Time They Do We Get Our Ass Kicked’
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