Starbucks CEO Says Company Needs ‘Extreme Makeover’
Ty Pennington Apologizes For Bulldozing 347 Stores As Coffee Store Prez Says ‘We Thought We’d Start With New Espresso Machines’
After hearing Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz talk about the need for Starbucks to undergo an “extreme makeover,” ABC’s Ty Pennington sprung into action in what was to be billed as “the biggest Extreme Makeover we’ve ever done…since last week’s episode,” said the home re-design guru.
Pennington admitted the show had problems coming up with a tear-jerking human interest angle on Schultz who is listed by Forbes as the 354th richest American and is reported to have a net worth of over $1.1 billion.
“We thought we might be able to touch people with the fact that he lost the Seattle Supersonics when he sold them to a group of Oklahoma businessmen. Despite the $350 million price tag, losing an NBA team really makes you sit back and examine what’s important in your life,” said Pennington.
When informed that a Starbucks makeover entailed new espresso machines and refocusing the brand, Pennington apologized for being “a bit over-enthusiastic” but maintained that most of the furniture at Starbucks “could use refurbishing” and promised that customers would be bowled over by Ed Sanders’ couches that were hand-painted and made to look like a croissant.
The Starbucks episode is set to air later this year assuming that the show can find 4,000 local volunteers who are willing to donate their time and services to help out a company with $9.4 billion in sales.
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I thought we were building a tree house for a kid with kidney disease….
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