Trading Halted in American Pogo Stick Stock
Order Imbalance Created With Discovery Viruses Can Be Killed By Shaking
Stock exchange officials halted trading in the American Pogo Stick Company (Stock symbol: OOPS) due to an order imbalance created when scientists discovered viruses can be killed by shaking them.
The breakthrough discovery holds promise for people suffering from viruses caused by influenza, HPV and downloading porn.
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Immune to viruses, but not broken bones…
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Other stocks benefiting from the discovery are National Paint Can Shakers (up 23.6%) and Ford Motor Company (+0.4%). Sales of the Ford Explorer are expected to show double-digit growth amid reports that the vehicle shakes like a Parkinson’s patient at speeds above 60 mph.
The news is also likely to spur a new defense tactic for lawyers who defend short-tempered babysitters accused of shaking little kids.
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