United Airlines To Charge Customers to Check Second Bag
Incidents of Old Ladies Getting Crushed by Over-Packed Carry-Ons Expected to Rise
United Airlines today announced a plan to charge customers to check a second bag. The move is widely expected to cut costs and increase the time it takes to get off a plane to over four hours.
Airline officials say they expect the plan to result in over $100 million in savings to the airline, although this figure may be offset by overtime paid to flight attendants who will struggle to remove the bodies of passengers crushed by their 800-pound carry-on.
United says the new $25 service fee will prevent layoffs, increase revenue and totally enrage anyone who has their luggage lost.
-
Last bag arrives. So does last piece of luggage…
-
A spokesman for United downplayed the “lost luggage frustration saying, “People at S&M clubs pay money to be abused all the time. We’re just extending this service to the general public.”
A United frequent-flyer, speaking on condition of anonymity and through a ball-gag, described the new plan as “business as usual, Mistress.”
(See related story: Sebright Industries and American Tourister in Joint Venture)
Related Stories
POSTED IN: Uncategorized
0 opinions for United Airlines To Charge Customers to Check Second Bag
No one has left a comment yet. You know what this means, right? You could be first!
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: